


Christmas in Budapest

by Spoonybard23



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: 1990s, Christmas Fluff, Gen, Gift Fic, Lietpol Secret Santa 2020, M/M, Self-indulgent fluff, Stretching the Christmas Shopping prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:54:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28499382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spoonybard23/pseuds/Spoonybard23
Summary: After a few years of cordial relations, Feliks and Tolys are edging closer to each other. But despite the enthusiasm of the last years, can Feliks face  up to what he's been holding in under the surface.Written for the 2020 LietPol Secret Santa. A self-indulgent look at late 90s LietPol through travel.
Relationships: Lithuania/Poland (Hetalia)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 7





	Christmas in Budapest

Warsaw, Poland - Castle Square. December 2nd

He’d agreed to do this, as if he’d ever say no. He’d seen it all on these streets at the heart of his capital--from the foundations to the grandeur to the rubble. What was left now was also his handiwork. Rebuilding had taken up all of his energies and had been such a good way to send a metaphorical middle finger to certain people. 

Of course all he was doing now was hanging up some lights on the edges and balconies of the houses on the square. But it was Christmas and even he wasn’t immune to the flashes of that past nostalgia that came with the age of a nation. 

At least he wasn’t one of those that lingered there all year; he could name a few people in that category. 

“Feliks, kid!” He heard a call from below. It was old Bartłomiej from the planning committee. He was holding on to the other end of the lights. “Are you done yet? The sun’s almost down.” 

“Yeah, coming down!” He grinned from ear to ear and slid off the ladder, skipping the last few rungs with a jump. 

“You’d ought to stop that. It makes the rest of us envy those young bones.” Bartłomiej chastised him. 

“You’re not that old.” Feliks ribbed him playfully. “I mean, definitely not as baby-faced as when we were piling bricks on the square, but you’re not a grandfather.” 

“Bah, give those kids a few years. I will be.” He turned to face the heart of the square and pushed Feliks forward. “Now you better go hang that tree topper before one of the kids takes that duty away.”

Feliks grinned and approached the center tree. Maja and Jan from the design committee were around the tree, overseeing the volunteers that hung up the ornaments. There were about seven ladders strewn across the perimeter of the tree, with groups working on each side to fill in the branches. 

“It looks great guys!” Feliks cheered, looking on with pride. He saw the star topper flown in. “I’ll help out with that.”

He climbed on one of the ladders that had just freed up, rushing to the top. He heard Maja plead with him and Jan groan. It didn’t stop him, but he had to push to the back of his mind a similar voice from long ago, climbing the castle walls. 

A strong cold wind shook the stairs near the top. The star slowly descended onto the top. It took just a few seconds to secure it with the others. Some of them climbed down with the cords. 

“Lukasiewicz! Step away so we can test the power.” 

He groaned but slid down a few notches of the stairs. The light was blinding as it came on against the last bits of sunlight. Feliks looked towards the square below and took in the sights. As the lights came on the balconies and the posts, all the decorations on the sides, the tents and wooden stands propped up for tomorrow’s first market, he felt immense pride in his people. 

From above, Feliks waved at the small masses of people on the square--young volunteers who’d started now, even if they had no clue who he was, and older ones that chuckled at seeing him again at another year. A few officials that were left in the square on ordinary business. They were all watching him. 

It made his smile all the wider as he climbed down. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At the bottom, he got an earful from the younger volunteers. Apparently he wasn’t supposed to go up there unsupervised because he was so young on paper. He knew grinning madly at that hadn’t helped his case, but he couldn’t help it. 

“You’ll be fine, seriously!” Feliks continued to rant as the group moved out from near the tree. He was walking facing backwards. “Honestly, I think he’d be more surprised if I ended up in one piece.” 

He heard a gentle, familiar voice approach from behind.

“It wouldn’t be the first time.” 

Feliks turned sharply in the right way, almost twisting his ankle. The force of it nearly threw his off balance. He stumbled backwards, and tucked his chin into his chest involuntarily. His expression scrunched up to hide his face. 

“Hey.” Tolys’ face came into focus. If Feliks thought he looked like an idiot at the moment, he was surprised to find Tolys’ only reaction was to tilt his head slightly. 

“Hey!” Feliks had to clear his throat, stand straight and play it cool to recover from that mess. “Funny seeing you here. Didn’t know you’d be in town.”

“Yeah, just a few days.” 

Tolys responded, and Feliks found himself nodding to fill the silence. He couldn’t even remember seeing anything on the calendar to explain this visit. 

“Y-yeah, no. Must have totally skipped my mind.” He insisted, prodding at Toris before it was too obvious that he had no idea what they were here doing. “You know, Christmas and all. It’s been busy.” 

“I know. You--it looks great!” Tolys accepted that excuse, though he had a weird pause in the middle. 

“Yeah, you know, with Christmas now back on and no weird looks and all, it’s time to throw everything at it. Well, within reason my boss says, but really? Gotta make up for like 40-odd years at least.” 

Feliks felt himself rambling on about the whole process to Tolys. About all of the designs he’d suggested that got turned down, and the plans that somehow made it past approval. He felt the rest of the team move out to let him continue his conversation, which was getting really long. 

Feliks even got into the details of the plans to cover the Palace of Culture and Scienes with as many different colors of light as humanly possible. He looked up at Tolys, expecting to see his polite smile and glazed eyes, so he could somehow get himself to stop making a fool of himself like usual. It was amazing that he hadn’t interrupted him. 

But he was surprised to find Tolys leaning forward, nodding. Feliks could see his lips turned up, holding back a laugh by biting on the bottom. He knew that face, and the shock of seeing it for the first time in literally centuries clammed him up. 

Even weirder that Tolys looked so awkward once he stopped ranting and taking up the space. He placed a hand on his neck and seemed to steel himself. 

“I’m sure you’re busy all week.” He offered. “You probably don’t have much time to grab a drink.” 

“What, no!” Feliks blurted out. He cursed himself, hoping he didn’t come across as too desperate. “I mean, yeah, I can make time tonight.”

Tolys chuckled and looked at the side for a moment. He pointed to a few delegates of his waiting near one of the closed shops. 

“I have a set dinner event tonight. Maybe tomorrow?” He asked. 

Feliks nodded, and he scrambled around his pockets for a piece of paper. “Here, it’s my new number. For this.” 

He pulled out the cellphone his boss had gotten for him this year, after so many complaints he’d received from people trying to reach him. 

Tolys laughed, as if he just knew without him saying a word. Feliks gave him a light knock to the shoulders. 

“After this you’ll have no excuses for being late.” He joked. “So tomorrow after the talks close down?”

“Yeah, I know a place.” Feliks added. “Brand new and not that expensive, so you don’t have to freak out.” 

Tolys shook his head 

“I’ll see you there, then. I’m looking forward to it.” 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once Feliks got to the office the next morning, the first thing he did was check his boss’ calendar. He didn’t see any events with the Lithuanian representatives. Not a single thing interesting. But in the mess of his snooping he completely forgot about the meeting with Hungary and her boss. 

In the end he got an earful from his boss. He told Erzse as much. 

“Apparently logging in from an old account and finding my boss’ schedule is a “National Security Concern.” Feliks rolled his eyes. He’d been held hostage while the IT department figured out exactly how he’d managed to get in. “So that’s why I’m late”

Erzse had just rescheduled their lunch to the cafe across the street. They were both sitting inside near the dessert case, under the chandelier, on an old-fashioned rounded table. Feliks didn’t mind, since this gave him an excuse to order sweets for half his meal. 

“So, what were you trying to do?” Erzse questioned. “Were you snooping around because you’re worried about something?” 

“Nah, nothing like that.” He shook his head and waved it off. “Nothing super serious, just personal stuff. I had to check.”

She raised her brow, pressing him silently. He took a sip of hot chocolate, trying to hold it in. 

“Ok fine, I wanted to know if he was having a meeting with Tolys’ boss.” He confessed. 

“Oh.” She said simply. 

“Yeah, you know, he doesn’t really come all that often.” Feliks tried to play it off; he knew Erzse would get it out of him eventually, but he could at least try to keep it cool. 

Erzse looked suspicious as hell though. 

“Well I’m not sure what you expected to find. Everyone’s at home planning.” She tapped her fingers on the rim of her coffee cup. “Unless--have you heard from him?” 

“Not since we were all in Rome in July.” Feliks shook his head. 

“Right” Erzse did not seem to buy that. “And you’re thinking about him just out of the blue, or is it the holidays?”

Feliks started to speak, but held back. He picked at his layered cake, dragging and pushing the bits on the plate. 

“I don’t know…” He thought out loud. “It’s not like he’d want to spend it together.”

In a split second he looked up. Erzse would take that in the wrong way--Feliks didn’t know what the right way was--but it definitely wasn’t whatever passed through Erzse’s face as she gave him a cheshire sized grin. 

“So that’s what this is about.” She concluded. “You want to spend Christmas with him?” 

“Erzse, stop, please.”

“You’re hoping to get a chance to ask him?” 

Feliks flinched. She was getting more excited by the moment, so he had to think of a way to squash that. 

“It wouldn’t be that great.” He took a bite of the cake. “I mean we’ve both spent sooo many Christmas’ Eves here. It would be boring.” 

“So the problem is the city?” She prodded. “Because I could help out on that front, if you’re interested.” 

He’d really dug himself into a whole. “It’s not just that. I don’t think he’d say yes, even if it wasn’t Warsaw.” 

Erzse hummed and thought that over. She softened her voice. “How are you two doing, really?” 

Feliks leaned back on the wooden chair, thinking the same to himself. 

“We’re fine, I guess.” He concluded, although that smile from yesterday was stuck in his memory. “He’s always polite at the meetings and sometimes he stops by and we grab lunch.”  
Erzse hummed, waving her hand for him to continue. 

“I mean, I’m glad we’re actually talking now.” 

“But didn’t you guys end up spending Christmas together before.” Erzse countered. “When was that? I thought you told me.”

“Huh? Oh that.” Feliks mused. “I guess I did crash one year. But it’s not like I thought it was something that could happen again. 

“Why not?”

Feliks squirmed in his seat. He remembered that night very well and how caught up they’d both gotten with the sentimental side of the past. Tolys had cornered him as he wandered around the old city of Kaunas and they’d both somehow stumbled into a shaky accord for the night. 

And yet at the next meeting after the New Year, they’d continued only with a polite, if gentle, acquaintance. 

“I think he’s not a huge fan of going back to that.” Feliks felt that melancholy and he had to shake his head to snap out of it. “But you know, he’s right. Now’s the time to start fresh; to ignore the past.”

He felt he had to emphasize it for Erzse. 

“I understand where that’s coming from” She offered. “But it’s not as if all aspects need to get left behind.” 

She paused for a second before adding. “I’m spending the holidays with Austria, after all.”

“Wait, seriously? Just the two of you?” Feliks almost choked on his hot chocolate. “In Budapest? Or Vienna?”

“Dresden”

“No way!” Feliks leaned forward, eager to hear. “Ludwig is hosting? And it’s not in Berlin?” 

“Oh he’ll still be there, even if it’s not Berlin. And Feli will be there too!”

“Wow, that’s really like the old days!” Feliks teased, ready to rib at the situation as payback. “The four of us in Vienna, with an old piano and way too much Vodka snuck in.” 

They both snickered at the memories of it--Feli’s drunken rants on the food; Prussia’s drunk piano serenades to absolutely everyone; Austria’s patience and hair thinning gradually from the start of the meal to the end of the night. 

“There’s some things I don’t miss. Even if I don’t think much about it after the last few decades.” Erzse took a long swig of coffee at that. “But I can take what I like from it.”

“It’ll be great to see Feli.” Feliks added. “You know, without anyone looking over our shoulders.”

They toasted to that. Erzse rolled her eyes. 

“You should come with us, if you don’t have any other company.” She insisted, smirking. “Company you enjoy more than us.” 

Feliks had to sit up at that and pretend to turn towards the truffle case to hide his blush. He couldn’t give Erzse the rights to catch him and tease. He went to the counter and made a show of picking out several of them into a gift box. 

“That’s sweet of you, picking out a gift for your guest.” 

Ok so he really should have seen that one coming. He made up some excuse about work that he’d never remember next time she’d tease him. 

They both left the bill paid and stepped out the door. Erzse pulled him into a bear hug and slipped something into his pocket. She smiled and waved from the taxi cab and left him with one last thought.

“I won’t be in Budapest, so think about it, ok?”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Lithuanian Embassy in Warsaw, December 3rd 1998

Feliks stopped outside of the Sejm that afternoon to drop off some papers, before he could get into any more trouble over late documents. Fortunately, he could just swing across the street and meet Lithuania at the embassy. 

They’d agreed in the morning to meet after six at the gate. And after years of Tolys complaining about Feliks being “late” to everything, he was expecting to find the other nation at the spot, on the dot. 

So he made a show of pulling out his watch and tapping his feet when Tolys showed up late walking leisurely and saying goodbye to some colleagues. He got a kick out of watching Tolys’ rushed dash to the spot. 

“Feliks! You’re early!” 

Tolys gasped out of breath, and Feliks felt almost offended when he realized just how little faith he’d had in honoring their meeting time. 

“Nah, they closed down the whole Sejm early so I’ve just been hanging out.” He played it off, waving his hand. “So! Are you ready for this?” 

Tolys nodded, now breaking into a smile. He seemed to unconsciously straighten out his coat and hair. The two of them started walking down towards the Opera. 

“There’s this new Mexican place--well, not new-new, but I bet you’ve never been.” 

“Is that really where we’re going?” Tolys half-chuckled, tilting his head and blinking for a moment. He’d stopped walking for a moment to look at Feliks with such a funny expression. 

“Yeah! It’ll be good. It’s the time to try out something different, don’t you think?”

“I suppose.”

Well that was a dead giveaway that he wasn’t a fan, not that he’d ever admit it. Feliks thought to throw out something else. 

“I know some other new places too.” He slowed down to match Tolys’ pace. “What have you tried out lately.”

“Uh, not much new.” 

“I heard America’s really gotten into sushi.” He kept on going again, against his own sense, but if Tolys was irritated by it he sure wasn’t showing it. “A few places started popping up here lately too.” 

He held up a wide smile to see, proud of his handiwork. He nudged Tolys on the shoulder, asking, suggesting, and ready to accept anything. Tolys seemed to examine him in silence while they walked up the storefronts of Nowy Świat. 

A small dusting of snow started falling. 

“Polish food would be okay. You don’t have to find something else for me.” 

Feliks flinched at that. He looked up at where Tolys walked alongside him, with a small gentle smile on his face. 

“You know of a good place?” 

“Hey, who do you think I am?” 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They settled into a homey little hole in the wall with barely any tables and a mismatch of tablecloth prints near Feliks’ apartment. Feliks knew the couple who ran it and despite the odd hour they chose to eat, the restaurant was packed. 

Tolys introduced himself in rusty Polish and got them both a cramped table for two right by the kitchen. They each ordered soup and a few dishes to share while Feliks explained how he’d found the place when he’d gotten sick of his own cooking. 

“I cook for myself now, almost everyday after work.” Feliks defended himself. “I swear you’ll never let me live down my clothing habits from back then.”

“It wasn’t just clothing.” Tolys countered. He took a sip of his spiced tripe soup and seemed to savor it. 

“Huh, I forgot you loved that.” Feliks remarked. In a different time they’d dined together every night. He shook his head before he could get too far down that road. 

“So, any big plans for Christmas?” He ventured. Tolys shook his head. 

“Nothing right now, as it is. I don’t even have the time to help out with the decorations, so it was great to see those here.” 

“What? They’re overworking you to the bone again!”

“I volunteer. It’s not always my boss.” 

Feliks puffed his cheeks at that. “If I was--If I could talk to your boss I’d tell him to force you to take a vacation.”

Tolys raised his brows at that, but didn’t add anything. 

“What about you? Are you staying in Warsaw this year?” Tolys ventured. Feliks perked up, shifting in his seat. 

“Maybe” 

Tolys paused; Feliks could see the look of a thousand thoughts running through his head. 

“I ran into Hungary earlier.” 

Feliks almost swore under his breath. He loved Erzse but he’d kill her if she told Tolys even a little of their conversation that morning. 

“Yeah? What did she say?” 

“Nothing much. We just took the chance to exchange a small gift, since she’s not stopping by Vilnius.” Tolys revealed. “I just thought you might get together, that’s all.”

“Nah.” Feliks shook his head. “We did that enough unofficially during the last ten years, when we could get away with it. She’s going to have to deal with Prussia this year though, so that’s her loss.”

Tolys rolled his eyes and Feliks chuckled. Even after so many centuries, the two never managed to get along. 

“I should send her my best wishes.” 

“Pfft! Coming from you that’s pretty harsh.” He stopped another round of giggles. “Actually, she’s not going to be in Budapest so she offered me her place.” 

“Really? And are you going?” 

Feliks noticed again that Tolys’ voice, just like yesterday at the tree, there was a hint of something odd in how he’d asked that.

“I might take her up on that offer.” Feliks mused, almost to himself. He leaned back in his chair. 

They’d been talking about trying something different. Budapest wasn’t different like London or Rome would be for him, all things considered, but he’d never been there with Tolys. They’d never been around together for the markets, the baths or the symphonies at the theater. 

“Are you ok?”

Tolys snapped him out of it. He must have a really pitiful look on his face because Tolys looked more concerned for him then than he had left himself show in decades. 

“Y-yeah, I was just thinking of...catching a show, or something.” He tried to muster up some enthusiasm, since he guessed he was supposed to convince Tolys to come. The idea sounded so farfetched in his mind. 

Nothing came to his head on how to ever bring up the idea, so he stuffed himself with some of the roasted pork. Tolys didn’t touch the food at all during their awkward silence. He sat staring straight at Feliks, who did his best to avoid those know-it-all eyes. 

Finally the silence ended. 

“Would you be ok with some company?”

“Are you offering?” Feliks asked too quickly. He winced--Tolys would think he’d planned this all along and hate it. 

“If Hungary doesn’t mind a second guest showing up uninvited.” 

Feliks shook his head. He had to take it back before this got too out of hand. 

“I can ask, but I’m sure she’s just giving me the crappy sofa bed. It fits two people but it’s not really that comfortable.” 

Tolys shrugged, as if that didn’t bother him. Feliks looked at him as if he’d been replaced with an impostor. He could think of a few objections Tolys should have to that. 

“I don’t mind. I didn’t have any other plans.” Tolys shrugged it off. 

“You don’t have to.” 

“I know.” Tolys assured him. “I’d like to.”

Feliks almost threw up at the knot that formed in his stomach and twisted him from the inside. Everything was falling in place for this holiday, and that strange happiness and contentment mixed together with the anxiety of trying to figure out what had gotten into Tolys was dizzying. 

“Ok, yeah. You can just call me when you’re heading out.” He had to take a sip of water. “Would you be there on Christmas Day or Christmas Eve?” 

Tolys pulled out a distressed planner and leafed through it. Feliks could hear him arguing with himself under his breath in Lithuanian. 

“How does the 23rd look for you? I’ll try to find a flight for then.” He asked hurriedly, writing it down already before Feliks even answered. 

“That works...” 

“Great, it’s set.” Tolys smiled, as if he was satisfied. Feliks still felt he needed another hour to process whatever had just happened. “I’ll ask my boss for the time. Once I have a flight I’ll give you a call and we can meet up at Hungary’s place.” 

Feliks could just nod and finish his own meal. 

“I’m looking forward to it.” 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Budapest Airport, December 24th, 1998

They hadn’t spoken so often on only personal business in years. If Tolys gave him a few calls to his Warsaw flat in between holidays and events during the year--well that was one thing, but they’d spent hours planning for the days at Erzse’s. 

It had all snuck up on slowly. Tolys called first to confirm when they’d be arriving at the airport. In a twist, they’d both managed to book flights within 30 minutes of each other in the morning of the 23rd. 

Feliks had called again when Erzse stopped by with tickets to one of the baths, and they both wondered together on what madness Erzse must have pulled to get them on a holiday week. Feliks also had to pass on the joke about Tolys’ old-man joints. 

I could have stopped there. It usually would have stopped there. But Tolys’ enthusiasm from the dinner hadn’t gone away, and Feliks couldn’t help himself from getting excited at just hearing it. It was like a craving he didn’t realize he’d had, but that once he knew of it, it left him wanting more and more of it. 

That knot from the dinner tightened with each of their calls. 

By the morning when Feliks’ flight landed in Budapest, they’d split ideas for cooking twelve small dishes between the two of them. Feliks was making cabbage dumplings at midnight the night before and Tolys agreed to sneak in herring in his luggage. 

It was way too much food. Feliks thought Tolys should have really stopped them from some of it, which was saying something. It nagged at him in the back that Tolys wasn’t acting as the voice of reason. 

He spotted Tolys with a small suitcase dressed super casually--well, for him anyway. The two of them chatted about the last few days the entire ride, as if they hadn’t caught up in years. 

“It feels like it’s been almost a century since I was here.” Toris marveled once they’d gotten out of the subway and onto the streets of downtown Budapest. “I might be, now that I think about it.” 

“Since the Great War?” Feliks wondered out loud while he led the way. 

“Probably.” 

Yeah it’s not like it was back then. But who’s cities are?” 

They were walking down Andrássy Street, past the State Opera when Feliks turned onto a smaller street. He stopped in front of a set of wooden double sided doors and pulled out the key copy Erzse left. 

“Well, this is it. We’re lucky Erzse’s had this place so long. Right in the middle of everything.” Feliks called the building elevator and the two of them struggled to fit with the luggage. “Don’t even have to spend anything on taxis.”

“As if we were tourists?” Tolys found that amusing. 

Feliks opened the door. Erzse’s apartment was nice and cozy, even if it wasn’t really decorated. Feliks thought they could fix that pretty easy. Tolys dragged his luggage to the back of the sofa, while Feliks had just plopped his down in the middle of the kitchen. 

“You are going to be impressed by my cooking.” He insisted, showing off the uszka he’d stored, along with the beet broth. “After so many years of asking me to cook, I’m finally doing it.” 

“I know it’s delicious.” Tolys complimented him. He passed along a few cold salads and horseradish sauce. 

“You better not hold back on me because you’re too polite.” 

Feliks insisted, sending over a mock glare. He’d definitely remember if he’d spent as much time as he did yesterday on just cooking. 

“W-what? No it’s definitely not the first time we’ve done this.” 

Feliks picked up a note by Tolys’ stuff written in Lithuanian. It was a neat list of all the dishes they’d discussed over the phone, which Tolys had started checking off on his side. 

“Did you make bryndza pierogi?” 

“No, just pierogi Ruskie.” Feliks set those down and crossed cheese dumplings off their list. “More cliche, and common, I know.” 

“I guess? It’s not a food I’d remember from back in our days.” Tolys admitted sheepishly. 

Feliks had to do a double take at that--he felt like he’d been eating those for centuries, surely before time had split them apart. 

“Is it that different?” He asked softly, unsure of himself. 

“It’s not that different.” Tolys concluded. “I just has fewer spices.” 

“Yeah, I’d forgotten but you’re right.” Feliks considered this. He decided to let it roll off him for now. 

“I might start doing that again now, just cuz.” 

Tolys nodded and they both examined the mountain of food in front of them. It way way too much food; they didn’t need any more. 

“There’s no bread.” Tolys noted; Feliks sighed. They both looked at each other. 

Within a few minutes they were both at the markets. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Vorosmarty Square, Budapest, December 23rd 1998

They’d gotten the bread pretty easily at a shop downstairs. It would be closed tomorrow so it would have to hold up for a night. 

Of course they’d made the mistake of stopping by Vorosmarty Square where Feliks could barely separate himself from the window display of chocolate walnut slices, cherry slices and Napoleon slices. 

He’d held off, because his wallet couldn’t take how expensive it was, and his stomach wouldn’t forgive him if they weren’t still exactly as he remembered them in the 19th century. 

Tolys just patted him on the back and tried to get him back to the apartment.

“We’ll grab some poppy rolls at the stalls over there.” He declared, and made the crucial mistake of dragging Feliks right into a dozen stalls of the brand new Christmas market. 

He’d set his eyes immediately on a few stalls of decorations 

“Oh no, no.” Tolys pleaded, holding Feliks’ arm lightly and making a show of them moving. “I know what you’re thinking, but we are not making a mess of the apartment.” 

Feliks turned and grinned from ear to ear. He nudged them to the side where some lights hung around some hand painted figures of the Virgin and Joseph. 

“It’s just a little, nothing major.” He continued to plead his case. “What kind of example would it be if we spent Christmas without a little scene to remind us. I’m sure our old bishops would agree.”

“Depends on which one.” Tolys replied flatly. His eyes were narrowed as if to catch Feliks in his own web. “And that’s how it always starts--just one decoration. I’ll take my eyes off you for one moment and next you’ll have bought four more.” 

Welp, he was right. Feliks made a show of looking elsewhere while he discreetly set back a star ornament he’d picked up while Tolys was talking. Just as he was smirking once the deed was done, he felt Tolys’ grip on his wrist. 

“Kurwa.” He swore. Tolys held a satisfied expression that taunted him. Just when did he get so out of practice? 

“Let go of the other one. We don’t have a tree!” 

“Spoilsport.” Feliks pouted, but he relented, dropping off the string of wool decorations. “How long has it been since we’ve been able to just find so much stuff.”

“Po, now you’re just being dramatic.” Tolys rolled his eyes. Feliks grew embarrassed at the nickname, and at how he just couldn’t come up with a smart remark after it. Especially since Tolys hadn’t let go of his hand. 

“Uhh, is that it then?” Feliks wriggled his hand and rather than act surprised and caught off guard, Tolys acted like he totally knew what he was doing. 

“Just a little bit of shopping, ok?” He gave in, letting go. Feliks wasn’t thinking about the shopping anymore. 

“We can meet up at the square for dinner.”

Tolys left him to his own devices and all Feliks could muster was a thought about how much more fun it would be to joke around together at the stalls. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Shopping on his own hadn’t been that bad. Feliks had wandered around the square a few times spying on the crafts and lingering near a few that caught his eye. A warm woolen sweater in a colorful purple hue, a nice cashmere scarf in red and white

He probably could have bought them for himself if he hadn’t been busy enjoying the odd game of cat and mouse that he’d gotten into with Tolys. 

The two would run back into each other occasionally. Feliks would wave over and show off something that caught his eye and watch Tolys either approve or act horrified at Feliks’ taste. He even made a show about buying warm spiced wine and toasting across the market with each other. 

They’d made it about 7 glasses in, unfazed. 

But the best run-in by far had been at the Kürtőskalács stand at the corner end of the square, where Feliks had been snacking on Erzse’s take on Sekacz. 

The stall’s owner heard their conversation in Polish during a break in their customers stopping by. It turned out the guy’s family was originally from Mazovia and he’d heard their quips about how Tolys made the best Sakotis. 

It all ended up with them giving up some materials and roping in a surprisingly willing Tolys into a demonstration that attracted about a dozen people at the stand. He was grinning from ear to ear as he ladled out the batter he’d prepped onto the funnel and did his best to truncate it gently to spin faster than it could manage. 

A group of kids cheered as he took it off the fire and turned it around to show off. 

“That was awesome!” Feliks approached him from behind, and wrapped an arm around Tolys’ shoulder, pulling him closer without thinking. “It’s like you’d been practicing.”

“I could go for another.” Tolys confessed, and Feliks loved seeing that confident look on him again, as everyone showered him with praise and amazement. “But I used up too many of their eggs already.” 

The owner had gotten an odd shaped bag to stuff Tolys’ creation and insisted they take it. He even offered to hire Tolys if he was interested for next years’ celebration. Tolys declined but they’d exchanged a firm shake and Feliks snuck in a picture with both of them and the Sakotis on his old Polaroid. They gave him one of the photos in exchange.

By the time they’d stepped back in front of the pastry shop, the sun started to set on Buda Castle across from them and Feliks felt a tug on his shoulder. His hands and Tolys’ were full of bags of sweets and souvenirs and their stomachs were full of too much mulled wine and not enough food. 

They stuffed themselves with a carp and paprika stew at a kiosk by the old food market district and toured the city streets huddled close like drunken pals until the crowds had thinned and their feet were just about to kill them to get back to Erzse’s.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Gellert Baths, Budapest, December 24th, 1998

They’d spent all morning before their time slot at the baths decorating. 

Well, it was more accurate to say that Feliks had taken it upon himself to get some Christmas spirit into Erzse’s old apartment, no matter what Tolys’ nerves and hang-ups were about messing with other people’s homes. 

It really wasn’t that much, Feliks thought. Just a few lights on the balconies around Ersze’s house plants and on the chimney, a wreath and red tablecloths that he’d found rummaging the linen closets for dinner. 

There wasn’t much Tolys could do when he’d woken up ahead of time and gotten half-way through the storage closet already. 

The nativity scene was set on the top of the dresser at the entrance, since that was the only place it still fit. It turned out that after they added the makowiec rolls and the apple pastry that the kitchen and the table were now chock full. 

So, of course, they’d ended up buying some roasted pork rolls on the way to the baths. And it was good that they did, since it was Christmas Eve and the line to the front door of the baths stretched for almost 45 minutes. 

“Ahh! This is the best!” Feliks cheered, stretched out and leaning back against the edge of the pool. “I owe Erzse a vacation in Zakopane or something.” 

“You’ll owe her an apology after she sees her house.” Tolys corrected him from outside the pool. “If you did that to my house…”

“I’m not gonna do that.” Feliks said with finality; he scooted to the side to give Tolys enough space to slip in. “It’s not the same anyway, between me and Erzse. We’ve decorated that place a thousand times”

“Hmm, and we haven’t?” 

Tolys rolled his shoulders, massaging his back and loosening his knots. Feliks had a great view of it, so he let himself indulge slightly. 

“Not at your place. You’re always moving.” Feliks commented, although he could feel the screw up he’d made as it happened. He should know to shut up about why Tolys had to keep moving around. 

“Aren’t you freezing like that?” He added, splashing the water. “Come in already. It’ll be better for those knots.”

Tolys rolled his eyes, but he cut himself off on whatever he’d been about to say. Once he was in the water he let out a large sigh. 

“See! You were missing out.” Feliks sent a wave his way. “Now you’re not going to want to leave this spot, at all. All that extra work with no rest and you’ll need a whole year of vacation.” 

“You’re ridiculous.” 

“Whaaaat? I’m just saying things as they are.” 

Feliks swam to the other side, slowly, circling the spot where Tolys rested. He pouted to himself that Tolys had lost that playful side from last night. 

It could be a hangover. Unlike Feliks, he could never tolerate much liquor--or more precisely, he could never deal with the massive headache after the alcohol left. 

He pouted, disappointed that their strange bout of carefree fun was ending. 

“I see you.” Tolys warned him. “I hope you haven’t got any ideas of scalding me with a bucket of water from the cistern.”

“Why would I ever do that?”

“You did that last time we went for a bath together.” Feliks puzzled; Tolys raised his brow. “You don’t remember?”

He seemed almost offended that Feliks didn’t remember this vignette. 

“No, when was that?” 

“At the turkish baths here.” He looked around, noting the decoration. “The true Turkish-style baths here. These look like they’re from a time when we weren’t on...the best terms.”

“Turkish-style? You’re remembering a prank from the 18th century?”

Feliks resisted everything to not show exactly how ridiculous that sounded to him. And people said he had a great memory for grievances. 

“Well I’m not going to prank you this time. It’s Christmas Eve, and I’m not planning to get pranked the rest of next year.” Feliks swam over, stopping just short of crashing into Tolys. 

“Turn around.” 

“W-what are you doing?” 

“I’m offering you a massage, so we’re even from three centuries ago.” Feliks narrowed his eye, before shrugging Tolys’ embarrassment off. “Besides, the water needs all the help it can get to relax.” 

“Don’t you think that would look strange?” 

“You’re making it strange, relax. I’m a professional.” Feliks took his arm and pulled him forward, enough so he could swim from behind. 

“Yeah, this is way worse than I thought.” 

He had to really work some elbow grease to get enough pressure on Tolys shoulders. He couldn’t see Tolys’ face from behind, so he took a few tries to test out the right force near his scars. 

He knew it was working when Tolys hummed and started moving his shoulders on his own. At that point he was relaxed enough for Feliks’ muscle memory to take over. Tolys leaned back against him, head turned to the side, enough for Feliks to see that he was getting sleepy. 

Feliks felt a knot tighten again. There wasn’t any space for him to continue the massage without crushing his hands in the little space between Tolys’ back, his chest and the ceramic edge of the pool. He let them fall to his sides. 

Tolys’ back shifted without the hands supporting it, until he was pressed directly against Feliks. He could barely see beyond Tolys’ lips and cheeks. A rogue thought passed quickly through Feliks’ mind.

The heat of the steam caught between them and the jagged edge of the concrete that stung him from behind left him trapped, caught in a dizzying claustrophobia. He could only escape this in one way. 

So he pushed the half-asleep Tolys headfirst into the hot water and darted out to the changing rooms. 

“We’ve settled that score, got it!” 

It was a miracle that nobody else had noticed them. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Budapest State Opera House, Christmas Eve, 7:00pm

Feliks had been quiet about the whole thing since they left the baths and excused themselves to change into their formal outfits for the night. 

Feliks had bought the tickets in advance, thanks to another one of Erzse’s Christmas miracles. 

The main events at the opera were a series of classical Italian and French operas that Feliks had already seen. It made sense--the more innovative plays were reserved for the days after the holidays. 

So he’d settled on seats to a Hungarian production that piqued their attention. It was a psychological drama about a couple based on an old tale, and since the only actors in it were the couple, Feliks picked it just on the fact that it wouldn’t be any super melodramatic love triangle. 

He’d seen enough of those already. And after the baths he had a nagging thought that, even by his standards, seeing a romantic opera was not the best idea. He thanked himself from a week ago from saving him that embarrassment. 

“So! We did the baths and we did shopping before, but this is totally new.” Feliks held a proud smile, holding up the programs. “I’ve never seen one of Erzse’s shows, so there’s no way you’ve seen one.”

“No? Not during the time you were at Austria’s house?” Tolys asked. He took the program and leafed through it.

“Nah, Franz Joseph didn’t like Hungarian opera.” 

Tolys nodded at that. They both entered the theater auditorium and walked down to their seats. 

“I don’t think I ever stopped to see you play piano.” Tolys remarked, as if to mend things.

“Yeah, well, I guess I didn’t really learn until after---you know.” Feliks handwaved away. He didn’t want to think of those things on this night. “I know you say you can also play, but I always remember you with the saxophone.” 

“The saxophone?” Tolys “And not the violin? Where did you see me perform.” 

Feliks cringed, caught. He rushed up the pace and sat down immediately, making a show of looking around. But even after a few minutes of shifting, Tolys still sought out an answer with his gaze. 

“You know, a speakeasy in New York.” He relented.

“And you were there because of what?” 

“Dunno, I think it was the world fair or something?” Feliks shrugged, trying to make it as convincing as possible. “It was the 20s--Feli was there, his brother was there, everyone was there.” 

“I guess.” 

“And anyway it was cool. I’m not sure why that would be suspicious to you that I heard it by chance.” Feliks felt himself blab on. 

“Because it was a private, illegal establishment?”

“Pfft! Any place with alcohol during a world event is common knowledge. Especially if America was there.” 

“And besides, it was awesome. I miss that upbeat music.” He patted Tolys on the back. “All of the improv with the solo--it was my jam back then.” 

“We should play sometime together, next year.” Tolys mused. Feliks felt his mouth gape for a moment. “A jazz song, on piano and saxophone.” 

“A duet?” 

Feliks began, until he felt a light touch on his palm. A warm hand held it up at the level of their waists, just above the armrest that separated them. Under the dimming lights in the theater, it was invisible to everyone, and yet to Feliks it was suddenly the only object he was conscious of. 

He turned to search Tolys’ face for any reason, and found he could no longer see it within the darkness. His mind raced, those same thoughts from the bath nagging at him, until he couldn’t hold it in.

“Tolys--!”

He felt the grip lighten, but it did not leave. 

“Shh, it’s about to start!”  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Feliks felt like a boiling kettle at intermission. 

Once the opera’s final act ended and the lights came back on, his hands were back on their own. 

Tolys got up and stretched without saying a word, as if what he’d done was totally normal. Feliks couldn’t believe it. 

He stood up and hooked his arm with Tolys’ and dragged him out to the foyer, in a corner under one of the arches, away from the main crowd. 

“What did you think you were doing?” He hissed, keeping his voice down. 

“What do you mean?” 

Feliks nearly threw up his hands. 

“Don’t you do that. You know exactly what I mean!” He insisted. “The hand--wait, actually, not just that--everything.” 

Tolys sat down on the corner chair. He seemed to consider Feliks’ comments, as if he knew, despite that Feliks hadn’t explained himself well at all. 

“You’ve been acting strange since we ran into each other in Warsaw.” He accused him again. “Getting nostalgic about Polish food, choosing to come here instead of staying in Vilnius, whatever the deal was at the baths--”

“Oh? I thought--” 

“What did you think?” Feliks gestured with his hands, erratically. The knot in his stomach was ever present.

“I thought you’d like to spend some time together.” 

Feliks stopped, wrapping his arms around his shoulder. His breath caught up and that knot rose up from his stomach to his throat. He pulled back, just as Tolys stood up and pulled him forward. 

Behind them the crowds thinned as the intermission ended, but neither of them moved. In the foyer alone now, Tolys moved his other hand to Feliks’ cheek. Gently he caressed it, tilting it upwards. 

They couldn’t look away from each other like this. Tolys was close--so close the warmth from his body countered the chill of the foyer. He searched in Feliks’ gaze the answer to the question he’d left unasked with his response. 

Feliks felt himself shake. At the light, there was nothing he could hide. Not behind any friendly banter; not behind the jokes and pranks. 

Tolys smiled, happy at the answer he’d found. He let go of their embrace. 

Feliks ran.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Budapest Széchenyi Chain Bridge, Christmas Eve 9:55pm 

Feliks ran up the street, pushing his way through the crowds of the main avenue without even looking. He could hear Tolys rushing behind him and calling out, but his voice got fainter once the crowds thinned out. 

He’d later have no memory of how he’d crossed the street on a major intersection. He could only remember the blaring horns from some cars around him until he crossed over and felt the chilly winds from the Danube. 

He was halfway down a bridge when he stopped to catch his breath. Around him were only a few groups of couples and a family walking towards where the market was. Feliks glanced in that direction, but he couldn’t see Tolys following. 

Tolys.

After all these years, even past the feuds, the distance and the indifference, he could still not let go. He was too far deep--too caught up in all of Tolys. 

He felt sick. He threw up immediately onto the sidewalk.

The worst part was that he’d never be able to hide it enough. He knew from Tolys’ face before he’d fled that he’d given away enough to put it together. Tolys would know--he would never acknowledge it, would never let it come across--but he’d know. 

He didn’t know why that polite indifference stung him more than any of the hateful stares he’d received. 

He didn’t know how he was supposed to face Tolys again at Erzse’s place. Perhaps he should just take the first train or flight out of the city to Warsaw. Erzse could give him back his stuff later.

He had to gather enough strength first. 

The feeling of being sick got better after a few moments, even if his headache got worse. Below, he focused on the reflection of the bridge lights in the water. He must have passed some time, because the cold caught up with him. It hit the crook of his neck and made him shiver involuntarily. 

He felt a few steps behind him. Another couple, he mused. The steps stopped behind him and he felt a warm 

“I’m glad I found you.” Tolys whispered. 

Feliks felt stiff, but his legs refused to carry him further. He had to face up to this. 

“I’m sorry if that was too much.” Tolys began. He leaned on the bridge’s iron rods, next to Feliks. From there he turned to meet Feliks’ gaze. His eyes were heavy and filled with something familiar, but frightening. Tolys seemed to plead for him to share and listen. 

“It wasn’t too much.” Feliks lamented, twisting his frown to a wry smile. He took a deep breath. 

“But it frightened you. There aren’t many things out there that do that.”

He winced; it sucked to admit to that. 

“I just--I still don’t get it.” He explained. “Why you came out here in the first place, and why you kept at it when I annoyed you. 

“You didn’t annoy me!” Tolys insisted.

But Feliks scoffed at that. He didn’t believe that was true for a second. They could write a book about how he’d teased and mocked mercilessly. 

“But that’s the problem, isn’t it?” Feliks curled his hands. “It’s all about how this is like it was back then. But back then it didn’t work out.” 

“We’re not the same people we were back then.” Tolys spoke with certainty. “We’ve changed, so it can’t ever be the same as back then.”

“And so? We’ll probably just find a way to mess it up in a new way.” 

“Is that what you really want?” Tolys challenged him. “Is that what you really believe?” 

Feliks stayed silent. For once, now and during this whole trip, the right words were missing to explain exactly what he believed. 

And yet Tolys continued undeterred. 

“I don’t think that’s what you believe--and I know that’s not what you want.” 

Feliks felt a facade crumble at Tolys’ firmness. A thousand excuses and yet he’d never come up with anything. 

So Feliks spoke plainly. “I don’t want to believe, because you don’t want to go down that path again, not with me.”

“You’re wrong.” 

Tolys turned to face him, holding both his arms with his hands as he leaned close enough to hear even the smallest whisper. 

“You’ve never been so wrong about anything, Feliks.”

“I know it’s not the past, and I know what our people think of each other when they look back to their lives. But our lives have been much longer.” 

Tolys continued. 

“When I think of how long we’ve been separated, and I look to who you’ve become, I see someone familiar, but who I don’t know anymore.” 

“I want to make new memories, and learn firsthand who you truly are now.” 

Feliks’ heart was beating out of his chest. 

“Tell me, can you not see the same in my eyes that I see in yours?” 

He looked up at Tolys’ expression and held their look, trusting what he saw. His answer that he’d known all along. 

“I love you, Tolys.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“How are you feeling?” Tolys asked, silently asking for Feliks’ permission to hold him closer. 

“Better, I think. After I threw up.” Feliks confessed. He leaned into Tolys and held his arm as support for a moment, as he regained his footing. With his hand, he felt around his neck and noticed a scarf around it in red and white. 

“It was supposed to be your Christmas present.” Tolys admitted. “But you needed it. Sorry it ruins the surprise.” 

“Silly Liet…” 

“Aren’t I?” 

He laughed together with him until the first snow fell. 

“We missed the ballet.” Feliks lamented. Tolys shook his head and tightened his embrace. 

“It’s ok. There will be others.” 

They took a cab back to Erzse’s apartment. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Erzse’s House, December 25th, 1998

They shared a meal at midnight as the bells of St. Stephen’s rang. It was way too much food, even in the three hours they’d stayed up chatting at the dinner table. 

Feliks tucked his new scarf into his pyjamas. He was too tired to make it much longer. Beside him on the sofa bed, Tolys had wrapped them in three layers of blankets. He wrapped his arm around Feliks’ shoulder. 

Feliks leaned back onto Tolys’ arm and nestled himself in the crook of his shoulder. Under the covers, with Liet, he couldn’t feel the cold night’s winds. 

He didn’t want to move again from under there. 

“I almost forgot your gift!” Feliks remembered that box of chocolate he’d bought with Erzse and stuffed into his luggage at the last moment. 

“It’s nothing special, just sweets.” He had to give it away, even if that ruined it, lest Tolys got his hopes up. “Next year’s gift will be totally better, I swear.”

Feliks peeked into the box of chocolates he’d picked up without thinking. Dark Chocolate, Black Currant, Baked Apple and Cherry truffles. In the haze of everything he’d picked out exactly what he would have for Tolys. 

“Thanks.” Tolys eyed them up but set them aside. Feliks gestured towards all the food and jokingly towards the chocolates. Toris shook his head but agreed. “I don’t think I’ll be able to try then while we are here.”

“Ehh, they’ll keep until Epiphany.” 

Feliks said, taking all of the covers and setting them back on him, before he remembered to move it back to Tolys’ spot. They both chuckled at their old habits. 

Outside, St. Stephen’s bells sounded the dawn as it set. Feliks' eyes felt heavy as the day caught up with him. The last words he heard were in a whisper against his ear that made him smile in his sleep. 

“We’ll spend that at my house. I’ll set an extra seat at the table.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm super late to the Secret Santa, but hopefully late is better than never.
> 
> This story ran away from me and ended up being twice as big as I originally planned. The original prompts were:  
> -Cozy Inside  
> -Christmas Shopping
> 
> I merged the coziness into the ending and added some shopping, but the bulk of this comes from my nostalgia of travel during 2020 for an old Hungarian family vacation in 2010. Most of the setting and set dressing is from my memories of that trip and the indulgence of imagining LietPol in a similar one. Hopefully the magic of seeing and experiencing a new place comes across--we could all use it after this year. 
> 
> It's also my first story from Feliks' perspective, so I hope I did him justice!


End file.
